Finding Joy During A Midlife Funk

Ever have one of those weeks where your joy takes a

vacation, your motivation calls in sick,

and you're left wondering, who the hell's running this midlife

circus? Well, that's been me all

week. I have been tired, I have been

crabby. I have been emotional for absolutely

no reason. And when I say emotional, I'm

talking, like, cry over a St.

Jude's commercial emotional. Now, that

one does always get me, because it takes me

back to when my nephew was 4 and fighting leukemia.

He's 14 now and in remission, thank God, but still,

that commercial wrecks me every

single time. Anywho,

every day this week, I told myself, okay, today

I'm going to sit down and I'm going to record this week's podcast episode.

Well, guess what? Every day I ended up curled

up on the couch instead, staring at the wall,

pretending that that was self care.

Now, I am not saying that being curled up on the

couch isn't self care, because there are

times that it is self care. But I was just

procrastinating this week. And here's the thing

that I want you to know. This is not the

first time I have hit this wall in midlife,

but damn, when it hits, it hits hard.

There is this weird fog that rolls in,

and I'm sure you probably understand what I'm talking about.

Like, the things that usually light me up just don't.

I want to feel motivated. I want

to be creative. But my brain is just sitting

here going like, yeah, nope, not happening

today. Let's scroll and snack instead.

And in those moments, once

again, I start questioning everything.

Is this because I'm burned out? Is this just my hormones?

Am I just being lazy? Is this just a lazy phase

that I'm going through and I've landed on? It's

probably a mixture of all of that, because

sometimes I really do just want to be

lazy. But somewhere in the middle of this quote,

unquote pity party that I've had this week, I

remembered that midlife has its

seasons. Just like every other phase of my life has

had seasons. I knew that this too shall

pass. And when I say seasons, what I

mean is sometimes I am in a season

of where I feel like I am on fire. And no,

I'm not speaking hot flashes in this instance,

but meaning I'm on fire, doing all the things,

everything. And then sometimes

I am this burnt marshmallow at

the end of the stick trying to remember what

joy even feels like. So this

week, I just leaned into it. I

stopped fighting it instead of trying to Force

myself to, you know, snap out of it,

like I've done in the past. I just leaned in. I

journaled. And it was not the pretty kind of

journaling or with, you know, I

get obsessive sometimes when I'm journaling and I have to

write, like, with really good

penmanship. And that was not

going on this week. It was more like scribbly,

ranty, what the actual is happening

right now. And. And, you know, sometimes when

you are in, like, an

emotional upheaval or you're angry and you're writing, you write

so hard that, you know, on the next page you can

see, like, the indentation of the letters. That was

me this week. Honestly,

it really helped. But it wasn't just the

journaling that helped clear my

mental, you know, the mental fog and

just clear up some space in my brain.

It was also because I turned on some

music and I am not talking this calm.

You know, something you would hear if you're sitting in a spa

or, you know, getting a massage. It

was. I'm talking. Well, first of all, the best

music, you know, 80s jams, obviously.

And if you think that the 80s are not the best music

genre, oh, girlfriend, we can't be friends.

You gotta. You gotta believe. And just, you

know, 80s music just rocked. Okay, kidding

aside, if you're not an 80s fan, we can still be friends.

But it was the 80s jams that I love.

I had to, you know, turn the Bluetooth speaker

up as loud as I could, and I

just danced around the kitchen. And

if you've never had a dance party in the kitchen,

highly recommend it. Turn on some music and just

go jam in the kitchen. You can thank me later.

And in that moment of me, you know, jamming

and dancing in the kitchen, I realized that

my joy isn't gone. It's just hiding

under everything that is going on right

now in midlife. I have, you

know, hormonal hell going on. There are things that I'm telling

myself, I quote, unquote, should do. And

one other thing I want you to know about me is we don't should on

ourselves here in my space.

MySpace. Oh, my God, do you remember MySpace?

So I. I realized that. That joy is not gone.

And I realized that in this phase, this

season of life that I'm in, that I'm

finding joy doesn't just come back

in one, like, big

grandiose moment or, you know, that quote,

unquote, snap out of it that

I used to be able to do when I was younger. And

not always, because sometimes you can't just snap out of it.

But in this instant, what I

realized was that sometimes it's just

one tiny spark. A laugh, a

song, a scribbled page. And that's enough

to remind you that we're still here.

And that alone is worth

celebrating. So if

you have been feeling like you've lost your mojo lately,

I just want to remind you that maybe it's not about, quote,

unquote, fixing yourself or, you know, trying

to snap out of it or. Or trying to

push yourself and force yourself to.

You know, I don't know what I'm trying to say there,

but maybe it's just a season that

your body is telling you you do need to slow down.

You do need to allow yourself to feel what you're feeling.

Because this midlife stuff is.

Oh, my gosh, I. If somebody,

like, say, for example, our husbands, our spouse, our girlfriends,

our wives, whatever, if they are not

experiencing what we are experiencing

with all these. I mean, I just call it hormonal hell, because

that sums it up. But if somebody else is not

experiencing this, they truly don't understand why

what is going on in our bodies. And we are not

crazy. There is. I mean, there. Our

bodies are just going through all kinds of.

And havoc right now. And I'm

leaning into just reminding myself

that it's also okay if I do

want to be, quote, unquote lazy or,

you know, not do anything, because

I think sometimes that's just what

I need. Sometimes that's just what my midlife

body and brain and, you know, just my

emotions, everything, just

needs that. That downtime to do nothing.

So let me say you do not need

permission to curl up on the couch with

snacks and a fuzzy blanket. I mean,

that's how I like to curl up on the couch. Snacks, fuzzy blanket, fuzzy

socks, fuzzy jammy pants. Anything that makes me

feel comfy, cozy. But you do not need permission

to curl up on the couch or, you know, curl up in a chair,

curl up in bed, whatever it may be. But I'm going to

tell you that here is your permission slip to

allow yourself to do that if you need to. So take

the nap, cry it out, write the

messy stuff, blast your favorite song.

Just do one small

thing that makes you feel alive today.

The joy will come back. I'm holding

out hope that it will come back for each and every one of us

that are going through all this. Midnight,

midnight. Oh, my gosh. All this midlife craziness.

Okay, well, that's it for today. Just short

and quick. And what I'm going through this week.

And just a reminder, you know, I find

that laughter is one of the things

that helps me deal with this midlife craziness. So if you

need a laugh, I invite you to grab my free 5

midlife LOLs. No advice, just

attitude@tishleigh.com

forward/pod

LOL. That's tishleigh.com

forward/p o D L O L. Because

midlife's weird and we might as well laugh about it.